by Elizabeth Stephens

Brave Souls, Birthdays and Ice Capades

Even though our appearance at school set us apart as outcastes there were those brave souls that wanted to be our friends. Some even dared to come up against Selma, but as the experienced spin-mistress she would not go down easily. When people attempted to invite Adrian and me to their birthday party, we were never allowed to attend. In one of my classes a boy had a crush on me, yes even with all my trauma. He was so intent on me being at his party he even made his mother call and talk to Selma. After that, the little boy was afraid to ever talk to me again. I always wondered what Selma told them, like we had the plague or something.

The older I became the more I recognized I wasn’t going to be a passive person. It was a mental change and I started thinking differently. I knew I didn’t have to be under Selma’s control even if my body was still in front of the TV; my mind was in a totally different dimension. Selma also realized she couldn’t control me in some areas and I think she was afraid of losing control.

On a couple of birthdays, we’d get to go to the Sports Arena to see the ice show or circus and Selma would act like a real mom, but it was only the three of us. It was as if she had to take us, but it was against her will and what she did with her own kids, we never knew why no one else came.

Only one time did I ever remember Adrian and I going to an outing in the park. Selma probably had to meet somebody or do something. I was extremely happy that day to be outside. I was on a public swing having a great time. She came over to me and told me to look down when I was on the swing and that I looked like a goon. She always put a damper on my good times. Who speaks to children like that? Not a loving mother, that is for sure.