24.0 A Perfect Day for Our Buddhist Wedding

by Elizabeth Stephens

February 18, 1978  A Perfect Day for Our Buddhist Wedding

It had rained a great deal that whole week and yet as Saturday morning dawned there was not a cloud in the sky and the air was crystal clear. It was a beautiful, clear, amazing day. I got up early to do some errands and had my hair done up in curls. Are all brides beautiful? Later three of my friends and members came to pick me up and we drove out to the temple. It was in Cucamonga before it was Rancho Cucamonga. There was a steel factory and not much else. We would know we were getting close to our destination when we passed the Ontario Motor Speedway. The speedway is no more now turned into a super mall and when the put Rancho in front of Cucamonga, much of the landscape turned into million dollar houses.

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When I arrived at Myohoji Temple around 12 pm, the place was deserted. I proceeded to get ready and then I wondered if anyone would really show up. This was a hold back to Selma, and my low self esteem. Fortunately, I later found out that James was running a few minutes late since he and his Best Man Bruce Barnes had forgotten the rings!  (The days before cell phones).

{The bride, me}

Carol and Andrea came in to help.

And one of my leaders, Suzanne.

 

The wedding was at 1pm. My sister arrived with a new hairdo, the frizzy style and I thought to myself, it must be very windy out there? My leader, Suzan came to visit and I knew people were starting to come in. Finally it was time and the music played. More and more members, old friends from General Telephone, and relatives continued to arrive. It was a full house to my surprise.

Bruce Barnes was James’ District Chief  and his best man seen here walking the isle with my sister, Adrian, the maid of honor. Hi to John and Jason. Scott, Russ and Jerry.James’ Woman’s Chapter leader Cheryl Bell,  Maryann and Ray, there is Bethany. Tom and Geraldine in the back. Many friends…..Nagila and Lauri….Jane and Ed. Ira and Bob and John. Mary and her husband are now Christians. Mary and I were in the same district in the beginning.There is Ford and Chuck in the back and one of my best friends, Linda.

 

Ahh, then comes the happy Buddhist couple. When I walked out the sanctuary was filled with people~ standing room only. In the Buddhist tradition you are married already when you have walked down the isle.

We then chanted through the sutra or the Buddhist prayers led by the Priest Reverend Sakata.

 

The Tea Ceremony.

We had decided that we would like to celebrate the traditional Japanese tea ceremony as part of our wedding vows, with one minor substitution that one uses sake, not tea. Traditionally,  the tea is poured three times for each person and that person take three sips before returning it to the tea master, or in our case mistress, one of my friends from Japan. She is a master of the art and did an impeccable job. Very relaxing.

 

The rings.

Don shares a few words, followed by Rick.

Out through the glass doors there was the sun shining and the green grass and the tremendous blue sky. Everyone should be married on such a day as this. I hardly remember chanting and doing the prayers, then the priest spoke about the woman being the pillars and the man being the roof. The priest performed the rites and then there was the kiss.Then the ceremony was over.

 

“Let me now introduce to you, Mr. and Mrs. James Stephens.

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29.0 Goal to be First Buddhist Amway Diamonds

by Elizabeth Stephens

James was a driven man trying to find the truth. Through his accident in Japan, we had met a friend of a tour member who had become the attorney who was handling our case against Japan National Railway. Tim asked if he and his wife could stop by one evening. Someone wanted to visit us? What a surprise! Fantastic. We loved company.

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Tim our sponsor, Dave and Jackie our downline, and James and I excited to be building our own business.

We were searching to expand our community and  for people who wanted to have deeper working relationships. Although the visit was fairly brief, we knew after a few minutes that it was strictly business and although cordial, we felt a bit uncomfortable and disappointed that it was not social. It was only to show the plan and we felt used, but we decided to join in the business as we felt it was an excellent opportunity. If you know anything about the process, sponsors look for people who are well networked and socially involved, in business terms you are a “bird dog” that may lead them to others who might also be interested in building a business. We were naturals because we were already highly trained as Buddhists and had no fear of talking to others. So, we had simply moved from being “evangelists” for Buddhism to “evangelists” for Amway.

However, there was a part of this business strategy that we were never very comfortable with. It was the part where you share the business plan; we thought it would be better to share our Buddhist faith. After all what was the most important to us was our faith not the money issue.  I remember sitting outside a Mercedes dealership, we were supposed to be dream building and yet we were talking about our faith.

During the meantime, our first daughter Sheila was born and we became a family of four. She was such a delight. I remember the extended family was so happy to have the first girl in thirty years. There was a joke that we had a baseball team of boys and now we have the first girl.

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Here we are dedicating our daughter to the Buddhist faith. Although we were surrounded by those who believed in God, we were still devoted to our Buddhist faith and consistently visualized being on stage as the First Buddhist Amway Diamonds.

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James, Eric, Sheila and I at Myohoji Temple in Etiwanda with the local Nichiren Shoshu Priest following a consecretion ceremony.

Early in 1984, our upline Diamond challenged his distribution network leaders to get serious about their businesses and show the Amway plan 90 times in 90 days. We believed that we were destined to be successful distributors and and would not have to worry about money again. That was a definite plus although we had never been driven by money and yet the thought of having enough without scrapping by month after month was appealing.

That summer, James and I had consistently shown the plan morning, noon, and night, including follow-ups where we picked up decision packs and hoped to sign others up as distributors. Los Angeles was in the midst of the Summer Olympics and some Olympic events were being held in Santa Monica.

James began to have terrifying dreams about blood running in sinks, spirits coming out of closets and was asking more and more questions at the Joint Headquarters for which he received no answers. Meetings were scheduled with visiting leaders from Japan which I also attended, but the high level leader dismissed me as a woman and acted in a very condescending manner to our honest questions, although we had been involved in building the movement in the US for nearly fourteen years, he had only been a member in Japan for about ten years. Cancelled meetings, threats, and then a general disinterest from those in the organization. We began to doubt the sincerity of the leaders. Were we merely pawns to them? What happened to humanistic Buddhism, world peace and human revolution?

At one time, James even sent a letter to all the Young Men’s Division who had signed a pledge that we’d help each other if any one of us ever though about going taiten (leaving the faith). Only one finally answered the letter, Dave M. It was as if the doors were closing left and right, but there was a big door about to open for us both.

After James’s accident in Japan, he’d left the design build firm he was working for in Pacific Palisades and got a job doing architectural blueprints in Santa Monica. Although he liked the owner, it was a humbling step down for him working in an ammonia laden room delivering blueprints to his peers. One day, a young female architect named Laurie came in to his shop and asked him, “Do you know of any Christian churches in the area?”

James responded, “No. I’m a Buddhist, but some of my Christian friends may know of one.”

About a week passed and Laurie returned to pick up another set of blueprints. She said to him, “I’ve got a something I want to give you. I’ll drop it off tomorrow.” As she was leaving she kindly said, “I’ve been praying for you.”

James was sincerely moved by her concern. The next morning when he opened up the shop, there was a package with a card on the back step. The card read, “Seek and Ye Shall Find, Knock and It Shall Be Opened to You.”  The two books were, Beyond Buddhism by J. Isamu Yamamoto and More Than A Carpenter by Josh MacDowell. He devoured them. He was challenged by the prophecies that had come true in Jesus’ lifetime. It was difficult to deny that He had been an historical figure.

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Another evening, he met Craig about 10 pm after one of his house meetings and asked him more about this Jesus. Craig invited him over to his house and shared with him for awhile and loaned a Bible to him and said, “Why don’t you go home tonight, get down on your knees at the foot of your bed and ask God to reveal Himself to you.”

Fair enough,” he responded. So that night when James came home he pulled out a Bible and started reading it. The passage that caught his attention was Second Peter 3:10 which says, “The Day of the LORD will come like a thief in which the heavens and earth will pass away in a roar and all the elements will be consumed in intense heat. Since all these things are to be destroyed in this way, what sort of people ought you to be in holy conduct and godliness?” He became increasingly troubled and asked himself, “What if I’m wrong? Although we as Buddhists believe in reincarnation, what if there is only one life and there is no exit from hell? What if the Christian hell is real? I’ll be lost forever.”

It was about day 76 when James made a decision to visit Clarence, a Nazarene pastor in his  Santa Monica Church office. His father Carlton had introduced him to him earlier and James had shared the Amway sales and marketing plan with him.

But that day was different. James was extremely exhausted and spent, but he was doing what he had to hoping that our fortune and karma would change. It was our worldview at that time.  However, during that meeting with the pastor James, who had grown increasingly uncomfortable with the lack of answers from fellow Buddhist leaders, asked Clarence a number of questions about this man, Jesus. After an hour with the Pastor, Clarence asked him if he would like to ask Jesus to be his Savior and to ask the Holy Spirit into his heart. James wrestled in his spirit.

He said, “I don’t want to invite a spirit into my heart, but then again, the Holy Spirit is God. God created me. Who better to give control of my life to, but God?” So, he’d come to the realization that Jesus was God and accepted the Lord, Jesus Christ as his Master and God. When he came home that afternoon he walked in the door and he said to me, “I’m no longer a Buddhist. I gave my heart to Jesus.”

I pondered what the ramifications of that statement were to be. We had a floor to ceiling altar, a three door model, with exotic carved wood scenes of cherry trees and dragons(Butsudan), which is a house for the scroll we prayed to. We’d paid over $7500 for it as we were going to pass it down through generations. We were serious about our commitment. We had led many people into Buddhism. James had converted over 54 people himself. We were senior leaders. In addition we both had special smaller scrolls (amamori gohonzons) that we carried on our persons that were only given to members with exceptional devotion and years of service. We’d even taken vows when we received them never to quit the practice of Buddhism.

James then said, “Pastor Crites and his wife would like to come over this evening. Do you mind?”

“Not at all.”  I liked company and did not mind.